Unsettling Settlement

by mujerapasionada

I find it interesting the way relationships work. I don’t just mean boyfriend/girlfriend type of relationships, I mean all kinds, from family relationships to casual friendships. I’ve come to realize that all these internal unspoken agreements are very crucial in realizing who we are as a person.

I’m not saying the typical cliche “the people around you show what type of person you are”, because I don’t think that is all true. We choose who/what we want around us, of course, sometimes with family it is a bit more difficult, but not impossible. We hang on to people that are dear to us, each unique in their own way. I actually believe that the amount of time you spend with that person may show what type of person you are. Maybe you are an introvert and only like being around certain people because you are only comfortable with them. Or in an extroverts case, around a group of people that make you feel like you are doing something productive.

If you pay attention to each person and who/what they choose to be around shows what they are most interested in. They may not be all about it but there is some sort of tie within them that continues to keep them in some sort of relationship.

All relationships have a start and they all start with a type of dedication, you decide what type of relationship it is and provide the necessary commitment to it. Let’s say you find someone you want to potentially be with as a couple, there are certain “common” steps everyone takes in order to form that relationship. But maybe that other person doesn’t quite see you as so, so in order to keep that person around you have a different unspoken agreement, in hopes that it leads to something else.

Usually, when you find someone with issues in committing to anything (jobs, people, objects, etc.) you realize that either there is an underlying reason for this, and depending on how committed you are to being in that persons life you take the appropriate measures to figure them out and make something work.

Personally, I feel like whenever you face a difficult path in a relationship with anyone, family, friend, or partner, you have to act on it based on what you want from that relationship. If you don’t think it’s going to work out and feel that it should cease to exist or minimize the communication then make it clear through your words and actions that you no longer wish to be committed entirely. Since we all have feelings and are accessible to being hurt, it’s best to act with maturity and do the best in your ability to make a mutual understanding.

With that being said, no two relationships are alike, therefor shouldn’t be compared or analyzed in such way. This is also why it is a bit difficult to give specific advice to anyone about their relationship, because they are not living it personally. Just be there, let them speak and remind them that it’ll turn out the way it is suppose to.